Life IS hard

It's hard to think, that when you really get down to it, not many people can really know who you are. So you might think I'm on some kind of identity crisis, but thta's not what this is. The fact is that I know very well who I am, but I worry sometimes that the people who are my friends, dont know the first thing about me. Should I be worried that nobody could really describe my personality accurately, because I don't let enough of it show?
Realistically, my problems lie deeper, of course. I really need to find a female companion who I can share things with and who knows and accepts me for the person that I am, and who I can laugh about myself with. It's disheartening to see some of my female friends who are fairly attractive, waste their time with ex-boyfriends and people they've randomly met. Why doesn't this happen to me, I wonder? I sometimes wish I was a different person with the same personality, and wonder what it would be like and how different their reactions would be to me.
I guess I have to put up with a bit of shitness to compensate the world for the excellent life I'm about to begin, yeah? Hmmm... well that remains to be seen!